NOT READY YET

Whitney Houston - I Learned From The Best (Official Music Video) - More bloopers are a click away

Have you ever had a dream so sweet that it seemed so real. That every time you opened your eyes you blinked wanting to get back to that dream. Every smile is different because it's not from the face you want or wish. Every touch feels off and the very thought of another doing it separates your rational thinking. Well you should have thought about that before you broke my heart and walked away!

Your not really ready to let go
you want things to go back to a time
when I was yours and it was my kiss that melted your heart
A time when it was my touch that gave you chills and yarn for more
I'm not ready to let you go either not ready to move to another
I'm not ready to hate you, I will forgive you
Not ready to cry another night , so I won't give you the power
You say now you have learned your lesson and ready to comeback
I'm not ready to take you back or try
You say what happen to second chances and forgiveness
I say I forgive and here is your second chance to be a friend
Not being cold and not being cruel, honest truth I a fool just for you
I'm not ready for another heartbreak or another lie
You say your ready
Well I'm NOT
I just want you to do me a favor and think real hard about what you lost
A
Strong
Independent
Supportive
Driven
Loyal
Loving, Caring, Catering
Devoted Women
I want you to think about that every time
Every women you meet or come across won't ever treat you like me
Don't worry I don't hold a grudge I'm still here and you still have my heart
It's the distance in which you have that is different now
Don't worry I haven't given up on you yet
I know that the man I dreamed of is in there
he just isn't right now
I warned you
I told you
I begged you
You weren't ready to be that man I know you could be
You say you weren't ready not yet
I try to be sweet and sit back and wait
So you can be at peace I won't hurt you the way you did me
Cause I see that life already is giving it back to you
I wouldn't ever
cheat
lie
betray you in anyway
run game on you
I know you need to grow and you need to do that without me
Comeback when your MAN
I'll stand by you but not with you
If it's meant to be it will be
I'm not ready to fight for you
You need to be willing to fight for me
I still and always will love you
But I LOVE ME MORE
The sun will shine another day and I'll smile another morning with or without you
But it's up to you
Grow up and be a MAN
Because I'm not ready to settle down
and play games with a boy
So you write the ending or beginning it's on you

By: Geneva Relf

UNTITLED TO YOU

What does it take to show someone you love them, and really mean it too? Not the type of love that comes with benefits or gifts on the regular but the type of love that doesn't cost. Where you can just be yourself without worry if they will still be there. The kind that makes you worry when they worry, cry when they cry, but most of all feel happiness when they are happy. We sometimes get caught up in jealousy and envy with each other! Wait now truth be told I never knew you could be jealous of the ones you love. I thought that their success was a reflection of hard work and where they came from. I certainly never knew you could be jealous of the one your with and claim is your better half.

This weekend was a test for me I would like to think. I mean think about how many times you tell someone you would do anything for them. All those times you tell someone you have their back no matter what. My test was to prove how loyal I could be to that, and if I really could be the type of women that no matter what sticks by her words and promise. The type of women who would stand by her man no matter what she is told, she sees the beauty in him and his dreams. See it's hard for me to say that I trust whole hearted in someone when you have been let down you often wonder why if you can or should. The truth is everyday I open my eyes a little more and more then the day before. I don't want to miss out on love, happiness, or even just moments of joy because I'm waiting for pain or disappointments.

How far would you go for the one who holds your heart? Even if they give you no guarantee they love you back. Can you devote time to someone who holds your desires even if your not sure all the time your theirs? How long can you wait to hear that they miss you, or care about you when actions just don't seem to show anymore? Can you walk away when your not sure what your walking away from? What if it's a test to see if you'll hold on and be there in the toughest of times? Meanwhile your ready to just walk away and leave them not knowing if one day you can take that back. See I'm a strong women who has cried a lot over foolish things, but wonders if now she is being tested for the realist of things. I mean we all ask God for things, but do we really expect him to do it? However when he does were either in shock he did it or realized we don't or can't handle it. Love it's always between two people but your goals and dreams too. Can you hold on to them when everyone else says that you shouldn't?

My only fear in life is rejection without reason, I mean I can handle being told I'm not the one. Furthermore being told that I'm not ready for what it is I want, but to be left without why or even with room to fix it. I can't handle that I rather lose knowing I did everything in my power to fix it, then not having a chance at all.

"Love is not based on limits or restrictions.

However it's pushed

by the limits of ones devotion and loyalty.

The only restrictions on love is the unwillingness

to be open."

By: Geneva Relf

UNTITLED TO YOU

For you it's me and for me it's you.

Something about you that's got me weak, and I'm feeling things Maybe it's time .....

Wait let me think about what I'm saying Right now let's just Wait it's rights ,

but the way I feel is out of control and your calling every part of me and I want to answer.

For you it's me and for me it's you.

What can I do but answer my all to you.

Maybe I'll wait and maybe I'll think longer, but wish harder for a yes instead a no.

How can I know what's best for me when every thought I think of thee.

All I can say and I hope you hear me so clear

For me it's you and for you it's me.

THE BEAUTY OF HEART

I once heard a man say "I put myself out there once and I can't do it again I guess." My only response to him was " One women doesn't destroy the world, and I thought you could see that." It's not that I didn't understand or even agree with his feelings at one point, but I know that life goes on passed one person! That sometimes we have to be with the worst to appreciate the best were about to receive. There are things you appreciate more the second time around you took for granted the first time. Your wiser to when you need to communicate, support, and just understand the second time around. There will be times when you bump against Mr. & Miss. wrong before you meet the right one. Furthermore we sometimes have the perfect mate sitting in front of us our whole life and never know it. The sad part is most of the time it's too late and that person is tired or holding on to what should be. I'm not saying this is always the case, but sometimes what you need and looking for is closer then you think.

There is nothing on this earth or in this world like being with someone who is your better half. Being with someone who would doing anything to see you smile, and laugh and just to be around you. The idea of being with someone who can see you for who you are without wanting or asking for that to change but to be embraced. I wonder why it's so hard to commit to someone who hasn't hurt you? Why we struggle with the chance to be happy and live in peace if not just for a moment? I understand that once your heart has been broken and you have been mistreated it hard to just put yourself back out there. Furthermore I understand that it's hard to believe and even trust when your waiting for them to do something wrong. The one thing I have learned is that if your eyes are always half open then you only see half of what you can get. If your eyes are always closed they'll never see what you can get. You have to open your eyes and take a chance the worst thing that can happen is noting that time won't heal. We say we don't want to get hurt or that were not ready to be back out there again. However aren't we hurting by missing out on what we could have. The thought of seeing others happy and in like or love and your playing it safe. That's like being the kid picked last every time to play at school, or being that really last picked person for partners in class. No body wants to feel like things are passing them by or that they aren't good enough to in the game we call life.


I say yes it will hurt and yes there will be times when you wish you were single, but then there will be those days when you can't image how you did it before without them. The very thought of them not being around is torture and beyond your thoughts. Even when you think that you can't take anymore and that your not cut out for that kind of relationship. Where you have to lay your feelings on the line and actually care about someone, seems so beyond you. Just hang in there it gets better and trust me you don't want to look back over your life and wonder what could have been.

IF IT MAKES YOU STRONGER & BETTER

Every struggle and heartbreak isn't for the breaking of you but the building of you. Sometimes it seems like the sun is shinning so bright and yet the blessings of it's rays never touches you. The grace of the beauty of it you never seem to feel because all you feel is your hurt and pain. Everyone seem to be happy and going on with the most perfect lives in the world and yours is the only one falling apart. Where it seems your tears are your only friends and the only constant thing in your life. I have been there plenty of times but the key is to get up and not stay down to realize that you have to stand. Life is a gift that can't be returned or exchanged for another and you only have one to live ! You have to look at the lessons that come with every challenge and learn from them. See the point in every heart break and strive for better in your life instead of waiting on answers to why. If we only knew that sometimes we hold on to the very thing that is destroying us. We would be so much further up the road that we call life if we just let go and moved on. We hold so much pain inside and carry so much weight on our shoulders that even when were happy we can still feel the unhappiness inside.

Don't get me wrong were human and it's in our nature to get down at times, and to feel weak almost destroyed by the things that happen around us. However the blessing we have is that we don't have to stay that way. That there is always a new day and another chance to smile and see the beauty in life and all it offers. The fact that at the end of the day it's over and you can sleep that pain away and move on. My grandmother use to say "Stay Sweet" to me all the time every time I cried, or got down that's what she would say. It took her passing away and years of bumping my head to get the point in that. See you can be hurt by some of the coldest people in the world, or even by those who are close to you. However you have to keep your head up and smile and go on living. Don't let them steal your joy and peace because you have to live with you not them. At times when I'm down I can still hear her say "Stay Sweet" and I smile and think about all those times I could have given up, but didn't so why do it now.

We all make mistakes but the biggest one we make is not learning from them and growing for the better. We all have done something that we wish people would forget and let go, but you have to just live your life and let them live theirs. The minute you let it go and forgive yourself they lose all that power, eventually moving too. You control the power you give people in your life and the control they have over you. There is nothing worse then a broken heart that is kept by the heart breaker. The idea of hoping they comeback and realize the mistake they made or making. Meanwhile they are doing their thing and you drowning your pillows and staying home and waiting by the phone. For a call that may never be what you want it to be, and if it is will things really be different? Can they really be the one that doesn't hurt you or lie to you anymore, and have they really changed or is the fact you that stayed around and always will? I have always been the type of women who realizes that there are three types of people in this world and you have to decide which one you are:

1- Childish- Staying hurt and never moving on. Keeping that pain with you and holding it against others.

2- Equalizer- They got you so now you have to get them back.

3- Survivor- Dust off and Get up keep it moving with hopes for a better day and change

I'm a three and have grown to understand that being childish will get you no where. A lot of people don't recognize their true self-worth and will allow people to treat them any kinda way! So they try to get even and be number two. However after years of that it gets old and you have to start realizing that life has to be more then a game of tag. Start to survive and live your life and make it what you want to make it. Depend on yourself and learn to do for yourself we need to be more independent not just money wise but thinking wise too. Stand on your own two feet and grow up and learn that life is hard for everyone.

Love is an amazing thing that we have been blessed with in life. Love for yourself, and those around you and even that special person.When you find that person who make you feel like your above the world and no matter what happens they are there. The type of person with eyes that show you more the just you, but the both of you and what it could be. The love we have for our self should surpass anything we go through we should love our self enough to get up and live. Family and close loyal friends that have a positive outlook and advice. We should start surrounding our self with positive thinking people and cut out the negative voices in our ears and life. Life is only over when you choose to no longer live it.

By: Geneva Relf

Just Know your Postion

I have never been the type of women who needed a man to complete me or to give me anything. I was brought up by strong women of all types for the single mother, to the devoted strong grandmother who made sure you knew your place! Its crazy how as time goes on the game that many men and women play never changes. We are often too scared to express what we really feel or even what it true in our hearts. Instead we play games lead people on and think that we are doing them a favor, because we haven't hurt their feelings. However it's the long run your not thinking about I mean now this person is invested in a lie of the worst kind.


However what about those people who know what you want a head of the game and act new when you remind them of what it is. I often wondered how women got themselves in those positions. How do you agree to be a jump off, or as they say "girlfriend #2" and be fine with that? But then you have those women who think that sex will change anything, and if you bring it enough he will change his mind. Well I hate to bust your "bubble" but that's a lie and he'll tell you whatever to keep getting it. Not to mention the fact if you make yourself open to them without a fight they'll continue to do it. However some women don't know I'll admit you men are slick with that you'll tell a girl anything to get what you want. Now not bashing men because ladies yes ladies are just as bad and will do anything to get what they want or what another has!


However you have these "sideline" girls who forget that is just what they are sidelines and not the official player on the court or field! They think because he may call or visit that makes you move up in the ranks no it doesn't know your place. If you had your own you wouldn't be waiting around for mine to be done with me to see you. You wouldn't be waiting for him to leave me to call you to see you. Sometimes we put our self in these places to be hurt, because we know what is going too happened and continue to head for it. Like he keeps proclaiming he is going to leave her, and that it's you he loves just give him time. Time please it's been three or four years later and your still with her, and have no plans to leave her. However we hear what we want and see what we want so it doesn't hurt so badly when it comes to past. There are time when we often lie to our self to make up for the fact we don't have what we want from the ones we want it from.
Furthermore there are times when you just get up and move on because you deserve better then that. And you don't deserve to be put on the sidelines when you’re a star player. You know that everything you’re wasting on him or her would be appreciated by someone else. Not to mention you shouldn't have to share your time with anyone who claims to love you or care about you. We often stay in these relationships or in these positions because of fear and the doubt of better. We don't know if the pain we feel will be greater then the pain we feel now. Now no one wants to get hurt or to be the one that is used. Sometimes we give our self to these people and devote out time, kindness, understanding, and patients. I mean going through something’s and not knowing why you only get 20% or 10% while most days you’re giving 90% or 80%. Wondering why and trying to figure out what you didn't do or couldn't do to change this. You wonder why the more you give the worse they get sometimes and just to wake up one day and they leave without why.


You may never get that answer I use to wonder if you’re a great women a true solider for your man. You don't want what's in his pocket, and you genuinely want the best for him or her, and you’re supportive. That would be enough and if you gave but also weren't a doormat for them and you cared about their needs and desires and did your best to keep them happy. You would be good enough and that you could make it through anything with communication. I have learned that sometimes you’re just not enough good or bad wise just not enough period for some really. You have to think about what you really want and what makes you happy. Because you'll do anything for someone when you don't know what you want. You'll often give in when you’re strong because it's easier to be weak then fight a battle you know you’re losing already. I feel that I can't get a break from the pain, or the tears I put into a relationship or person. My heart and soul just wants to give up and don't go back out for another heartache; however "life is to be lived not watched". I often think that maybe its crazy the way we put so much energy into nothing and into something we know is only hurting us.

Just My Opinion
By: Geneva Relf