Sunday, August 9, 2009

Dating Etiquette

This topic is close to my heart because it seems that all those rules we use to have just disappeared overnight. That all the respect we use to have and up hold on each other is now gone too. The days where men were just that men and didn’t play games or do tricks to get what they wanted. And women were respected and they didn't have to use their bodies to feel loved or important. I look around now a days and feel sad for the generations to come because we are leaving them no choice but to be players and tricksters to other. We often ask ourselves why things happen to us and why our relationships fail and don't last.

With all the smiles and good times you shared with someone how can you just walk away and leave them with questions and pain? Why do we never communicate until it's too late and the problem has reached a point to where talking isn't just going to fix it? Can anyone tell me why we hang on to the craziest relationship knowing that in the end when we are left alone at night we have a pillow full of tears, and heart breaking with every minute we think about you? I never wanted to be the type of women who put a man in his place, because I thought that real men never needed to be put in there place they did what was expected of them!

How times have changed it seems now if you don't play games and have a flock of girls on your arm you’re not a man. Please spare me that crap about how you got it "like that", and how it's not your fault if the women just seem to "fall in your lap". However women are just as bad and the games we play just don't make us any better then most men.I'm a real woman who doesn't play games and that will do anything for her man. The type of women who is a true solider for her man who is willing to stick around for the hard times, and hold you up when it seems all around you is falling down. The type of women who will say "baby I got it, don't worry about it." Then let go and never put it in your face that I paid or that I spent. Furthermore the type of women who understands other women will look, because hey your fine and you belong to someone else. Naturally most women are going to want to test the waters. However I'll let it slide because of that fact, but don't cross me or let it get out of control. Keep in mind it's a two way street your women is bad and she gets looks too, but she lets the men know she's taken.And since when did sex become such a powerhouse for these relationships? When did sleeping with someone give you the power to hurt or control, last time I checked there are plenty of people in this world. I don't have to get it from you, and the things you do trust another can do and will do.

We have this idea that our bodies have all this power and that we can control a person and their acts by our shape, movement, or love making skills. With words so cheap and shallow they not drowning anyone, or fooling anyone. We think that if we hide the truth then we don't have to face our actions or have to face what pain we are going to cause. We feel that if we can keep doing the little things that make you happy then we don't have to concentrate on the times we make you cry. Well I hate to say that is all crap and a load of garbage you can't expect someone to feel good about being used! Then you just leave and don't tell us why we couldn't work it out or why you had to go.Kissing use to be something of passion and something of meaning and now we will kiss anyone, and sleep with anyone to cover up the fact we are hurting, and we think if we don't feel it then we don't have to deal with it either. I remember a time when I was taught to treat people the way you wanted to be treated. What the hell happened to that we don't do that anymore now we feel we have to walk around with our games ready.

I was taught that there were three things you never make a man do:

1. Be a man- you never make him grow up, or own up to anything he isn't willing to.

2. Commit- make a man be in a relationship, or to marry you when not ready.

3. Say he loves you- pretty much forcing him to feel something before he is there.

We often say we love you or that we miss you and from our mouth whether you’re a man or women saying it you may mean it just that way. You genuinely miss that person and care enough to love them, but if their not there yet your alone in that feeling. Not to mention the fact if they do say it or act. It only adds to the pain of when it comes out that when they did say it they didn't mean it then or feel it when they acted like it. There is a song by Kelly Price called You should have told me this song helps me explain my point and I hope you know the song I'm talking about and if not you need to hear this song. It talks about all those things we don't say to each other and about all those ways we make each other feel less then what we are.The lessons we learn in this life are suppose to build us up, and suppose to make us stronger and to make us fight harder. Not to lay down and act weak and keep our heads down, and the thought of just being a weak women makes me sick. I don't care if I cry everyday, and have to take a deep breath just to get out of bed. At least I get out of the bed and continue to live my life without backing down or fear of what's next.Fear and lack of success is only do to the limitations in our own minds.

We have the courage to do whatever we want and we have the power to get up and take control over our lives. We often wait around for some man or women to make us complete or to validate what we should already know about our self. We hope that love will make us whole but my thing is if you never find it, will you never be whole? Furthermore what if you come close then are you only more then half, but still not complete? It's not that you need someone to complete you but someone to compliment you and to hold you up when you need it. For someone to push you just as hard in your dreams and goals as you do them. For that person to make you smile and laugh as hard as you make them. That's what we should be looking for not what he or she can do for me, or this who is going to complete me crap.

Life is too short to bank on anyone else to do for you what you need to do for yourself. Stop asking am I good enough, or smart enough because the truth is if you don't know how they can? If your not sure how can they be so positive when they say it to your face? Another thing don't be a text whore you make them call you, and I'm sorry if that sounds harsh but it's true. We let people text us instead of using words and connecting with feelings to one another. Texting is a great way to get your feelings hurt because you never know if those words are real, and they think it sounds good during that time. Just remind them of what they have said a day or two later. If they can't remember they didn't mean it and you'll know when they can't repeat it to you. So my point is just don't settle for words or the average mess of a man or woman we all deserve the best in life and you'll never find it looking down.

Giovanni Centurione helped me come up with this topic & that song by Kelly Price can be found @

By: Geneva Relf

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